Moving was inexplicably less difficult when you didn't have to lift a finger. Where was this when she had taken all of that time in packing? To get up and have to move up and down, bend and flex, setting up boxes, and taping them down. She didn't exactly have a place for everything, but the best she could think of was to put it into storage. That was a cheap enough payment, and she didn't need that much room. With as small as this place was, it really wasn't a far fetch. He wanted her to decorate, but she didn't need to use everything she had for that. There was so much there already.

It was stressful, no matter how much time she took in doing this. Over a month since it was brought up and she felt like he was catching her own doubts and worries. Yes, some had been verbalized, spoken of and danced around. There was this feeling that it was just her, at times, because she trusted him. Fully, completely. There shouldn't be an issue. This wasn't one of those things she was good with or understood. There were things that she should have asked ahead of time, but didn't feel the need to. It was different now, the way things changed, but it was only when she stepped outside of his door that she felt that way.

The way that the world worked and the way that they did were two separate things. The way that all of these new things left her nerves unsettled. These should have been trivialities in what had turned into a life upside down. Racked with abilities and powers, something that turned rather demonic. The life or what one had turned into. Her own stress over the entire issue of following through, of the marriage, and moving in with him held more to do with the fact that she didn't want to ruin what was already there. Whatever this was going to be, as they tried it out, she didn't want it to become something else. The way they had always been, always were, it left her with a comfortable place to go. Someone she could share anything with, even if she didn't speak it.

There was a sensitivity that she didn't feel should be there. It was one she couldn't recall having since high school. Where you were left judged all over again for everything. She didn't care if she was liked or wanted, but there was this want to at least not be looked at in one light. That kind that she had fit into in some corner of life that she didn't want. Was it so wrong to want to be ordinary? Average? Unoriginal? Just so that people didn't pay you any mind? That you could just go about life with your own thoughts and beliefs, do everything as you felt like and not be noticed? Because even when it was nice, and it was what you wanted, it turned into something far worse. Because there was always that person that didn't like it. They went for whatever you had and wanted to make it their own.

Here she was, a book with a dark cover, with thick pages that no one should ever turn or attempt to read. Written in some mixed language that was older than time itself. That was how she felt, that it still needed a lock. Because here she was, still having this sensitivity. It made her snap and back away from people. Trust was one of those things that was difficult to hand out and it just turned inward. Here she was, problematic again. Whether it was that she couldn't do anything right or read people properly, she was at a loss. It didn't matter, she didn't know what it was she did wrong, but she was left in this place where she wasn't about to keep believing it. Second guessing herself in what she spoke, it would only bring worse trouble. This wasn't how she was. This wasn't how she was going to continue to be.

After the events of today, that simply included the use and what she felt like were the strengthening of her powers or the grasp thereof. She had been tired. It took more out of her, but not like it had before, not even close. Her mind still going, racing on subjects and issues from the night and before, she could at least admit to herself that she was worried. About one too many things. It was enough to lead her away from her comfortable place, to wander away and to try and make some cup of tea. To give herself a minute, to breathe and calm her thoughts.

She could be just paranoid, but Rachel had seen enough of this happen. The speed at which she picked up a number of little gifts. Whatever was coming, whatever was in the future, there were these spots that she wasn't allowed to go. Just like in the past. Time was one of those places she went to in curiosity. She shouldn't, and she knew how it could change, but she wanted to know. And there was more there. She could feel it, but couldn't grasp what was going on. What was supposed to happen. It all just spoke volumes of something bad and she didn't know if she should say something or let it go.

Friend or not, she worried. But she couldn't keep falling apart. There was only so much she could do to pull herself back together, even where she was now. With him this close, it was calming, but what would this gain? More questions and no real answers. Everything would get better, not worse. She had to make sure of it, with whatever fight she had to bring to the table to do it. To hold it together, even at the cost of herself, because she owed him that. She owed them that.