and leave love bleeding in my hands again
July 4, 2016

Fireworks went off in the sky. Bright colors against the dark, creating for its own beauty and wonder to be drawn into. But not by the way her head ached, screamed and cried for some relief from the pressure that was drilled into her skull. A wake up call of sorts, that was seen coming, but not like this. Raven hadn't come to like this before. She didn't know or understand much, considering that she had only been through this a couple of times before at all. This wasn't how it was explained to her. What was she supposed to do? Where was she?

Donna's. Family? This was different. Her head hurt too. She wanted her to come with, she needed something. There was no need to use telepathy or feel what she was in order to see this. A friend. She was going to help her if she could. It was the right thing to do, what anyone should or would do. The least she could. Something felt off though, even for her. Why wasn't she feeling? Her own empathy not reaching out, a freedom of what others felt. Only her own loss and confusion as she moved to follow Donna through to the kitchen.

She didn't know what she was doing, she didn't hold any answers to even her own questions. What was she supposed to do here? There was no nervousness, no panic, just questions and this headache that kept poking at her, wanting to attack her thoughts. Itching and edging at the surface. It was nothing like her first time around, but there was only so much that could be done for anyone.

Raven did what she could, explained what was possible, but she didn't know what she was doing. Helping others through this, there wasn't enough here to grasp her own understanding. She was too new to this. Her powers had come flush against her, hard and in a tidal wave her first shift. There had been too little of time to allow her head to play catch up in everything else. All leaving a strong mix of battling personalities. The strong natural pacifist willingly standing up to the stronghold of the hostile.

Donna needed time to adjust, to cope, and there was only so much that Raven could do outside of just calming her. That ability she still held, but she still hadn't come to the full realization as to what was going on. A short span of time, it wasn't midnight, nothing made sense and she didn't know who else was around. It was just like last time. She felt alone and lost in all of this. What was she supposed to do or say that wasn't just making things worse for herself or anyone around her? This was how it turned out here, this was where Rachel's own memories clouded things and made it worse. But her own were no help either. Regardless of where her head or heart was, nothing added up to where it needed to be.

Walking down the street, she hadn't paid attention to anything, other than the fact that one foot moved ahead of the other. The fresh air hitting her face, stars twinkling in the dark sky above, and fireworks still being splattered across them now and then, but mostly died down by now. It was going to be that kind of night.

The slow gathering of people, they were moving towards her, each as she passed them. A feeling encompassing them, that same feeling she just wanted to have and hold right now. She didn't want to be alone, but she couldn't teleport. Her thoughts were left on that more than the rest, just not that feeling. The one of warmth and hope. It was one that she knew on her own, did feel, even though she didn't care to admit it. No, not her, that was Rachel. Though, Raven held her own issues with this. When you were taught to try to be emotionless, to hold control, there was going to be a misunderstanding and many misconceptions about emotions. Complex and complicated in their own varying degrees. To feel and to allow herself such trivial matters. Walking that fine line between holding control and loyalty. All for the sake of those she did love.

It wasn't until people began to come towards her from the front and not simply follow her, that she began to notice the issue. Her eyes wide, this was an accident. How did she shut this off now? It was too late, they began to shift as far as emotions. No, this was something else, as sirens went off and then, everything was a blur. A wreck of everything, from emotions to actual metal from vehicles colliding.

The crowd was left lost and confused, as she moved in. No, that wasn't it, they were frozen in time and she just didn't notice it. Too busy running towards the police vehicles that were sitting there practically bound to one another. A need to remedy the situation, to help those that were hurt. This was all her fault and she could heal them, couldn't she? That was a chance she didn't even think that she was taking. The dislocation of powers and how this all shifted and changed against her. Finding herself hovering over one of the officers, as she did what she could to peel him from his seat in the mangled vehicle. All without hurting him more, because she knew she was no paramedic. Hands over the man, over his own wounds, nothing happened. What was going on? Her expression contorted as she was at a loss, trying so hard to make it work. But nothing would come of it. There was no rhyme or reason, no explanation coming to her.

She tried and tried, even moving for the other officer. Nothing. In her own makeshift panic, time slowly moving until, there it was, the clock struck midnight and the world moved again. Panic in the streets, as people cried out at what they just experienced. Rachel's eyes in a panic as she wrapped herself in darkness and flew off. With what she could do, no one was going to understand what they were seeing or catch the fact that she went to the air. It was the best she could do for this entire mess. She couldn't reverse time, not to that time when Raven was ever around. It was a big gap of time she couldn't touch. There was nothing she could do.