but you row the boat that im in, you know we both sink or swim
She was excited and she didn't know if she could stand it. There was nothing left to hide. The smile was plastered onto her face like nothing else. She couldn't get rid of it if she wanted to. That driving need to get away, get out of her own head. Everything she did or tried felt like she was running into walls. Nothing was working the way she wanted to or needed it to. He was the first person she turned to. Not abnormal at all, nor was there any actual surprise in the fact that he agreed to this. It was cheating, but she didn't care. Use what she had to make things work for them. It wasn't the first time she did this, it wasn't going to be the last. As much as she wanted to be free of these abilities, she wasn't going to be. Might as well put them to good use. There was no doubt in her mind that this was that. As much time as they needed doing this. One of those things that she always wanted to do. A place she would happily end up forever in. Especially with him.
Teleportation made time that much easier, as if time were an issue, given all of her abilities. No, none of this mattered. Only that they gained what they needed out of this. Recharging, excitement, adventure. It even held its own type of relaxation. Who was there to say anything or to do anything against this? No one. Nothing. It was them against the world and that was just how she liked it.
Her cheeks were growing sore, and she did internally want to stop smiling. She wondered if he wouldn't end up with a big head about this. All this smiling. Was it so necessary? There was a nervousness that shot through her. An all too sudden fear shrieking through her, where she questioned if this was real. It was the usual question. What if it wasn't? Did it matter, as long as she had what she wanted out of this? That even if it all went to hell, she was here with him. And it was good now. The rest of the world, it could wait. Most of it felt so hollow. Worse when she felt like it. Too many years felt like that. Not that it was his fault, but it was there. The way she was left to her own devices.
That space that left them divided, her looking for her own place. What was she going to do in this world? She never felt like she had the proper plan. No matter how well put together, it wasn't there. She didn't know what she was doing. As lost as anyone else that could roam the grounds or anyone else her own age. It was what she hated most. Not that she was like other people, not that most didn't see it, but the feeling. To forever feel lost. In a place that she couldn't explain, but it never felt right. Nothing was hers and at some time in each near future, it proved itself so.
Everything else in this world, it left her or she let it go. It didn't fit, it was thrown in the trash or tossed aside. It wasn't real. From people that thought they were doing the right thing, to those that knew otherwise. Those that sat there making claims that would never be lived up to. Rachel wasn't desperate, there was no forceful draw in to bother with people. Where she reached out or craved the ability to be able to talk to people, speak what was on her mind, or to be able to trust others. It was no undying need, that would hold no resolve. She had him. That one person that proved to be unlike the rest and more like her. For whatever reason he always seemed to understand, to be happy to go about things like this. Even now, she would look upon him and still expect it to break. Like a mirror to shatter. Shards of glass everywhere, scattered about each with its own piece of the reflection. There had to be better out there for him. A time where he would tire of her, or find some argument he would escape from. It had been well over twenty years without such an act yet, but that didn't remove the possibility, did it?
She couldn't claim what she was worthy of, but all of this insanity, whatever was going on with her, it felt like a deal breaker. There wouldn't be any holding it against him, if it had been. There was some sort of demon inside of her, or she was one. With the memories and her own thoughts on the subject matter, she still had to question her own sanity on it most of the time. Not everyone understood, not everyone knew. But there he was, always saying those words that left her feeling a well of emotion. Waves that shouldn't be there moving and pushing against her. Wanting to break her, but she held fast. That smile still unwavering, not wanting to let go of him, even if she was drowning here. Her was the anchor. The force of the storms could keep trying, but he kept her together, stationary, feeling her own emotions and not just someone else's.
baby, its a wild world for you..moonrise kingdom only made for two
Her breathing spiked with her own sense of awe. What she was surrounded by, where they were. This whole world just became that much bigger. For all the places she had been, this was the one place she wanted to be, but hadn't made that step until now. Her mind having been in so many different places, her own emotions running wild. Not simply for the sake of her own, but these abilities that were tied to her, the power that was tied to her. What it meant, what she could do. The questions that it all brought about her own actual father.
All of that was gone, for the sake of where she was. Of the man that was next to her, even though she liked to throw out questions about if he had enough oxygen up there. If his head was going to skim the top of the walkway. Because there was her anchor. Ever vigilant without even having to move or lift a finger. Simply put, he was there. And the fact that he was there, was the one thing that meant the most to her. A solid decision to trust her, to want to be near her, to care to experience these things with her. Without the worry or suspicion of use or abuse. Even if she couldn't feel what he did or see his intentions, because she never had. It was there, that innate feeling, knowledge, that nothing else compared to that. These things that made for a best friend above all else. A realness that held and kept there. She could practically touch it, even when she didn't reach out for him.
The light was bright but dimmer than she expected. At least until she finally noticed that it was her own doing. The way that she was feeling, the thoughts that swirled through her and around her. It drew in the shadows, the darkness that was here for her. Pooled at her feet, wanting to crawl up her, and she couldn't fear it. It was hers. It would stay hers. There was a comfort in it, just like how it moved over him too.
There was no fear or worry of others seeing them, if there was anyone to come up upon. There was more to do here than that. What would they say or think anyway? Nothing mattered when you could change instances in the blink of an eye. Where you are, who you are, why you're there. This was a whole new life and there was enough to go around.
This is what she would imagine it to be like, if they were in some dark forest. The peacefulness, the belonging that held, being among everything that was part of the night and with you not against you. Wolves on their own, studying what there was here. That air of excitement, the rush of new things, not knowing what will come around the next bend. Mystery upon mystery, unlocked for them. The world was what they wanted it to be.
Her fingers reached out to touch the brick, but with a hesitancy. It was as though everything would just go up in smoke, to disappear in the dream that it should all be. This shouldn't be real, but it was. It was real and the memory was hers. The feeling of the rock brushing against the tips of her fingers. She may as well be flying now, even though she could do that. But that wasn't what she was after. No, this was a feeling that was strong and ingrained in her. As though she were a bird with feathers brushing against the edges of the opening as she flew through here. Moving to the next part of this reality and whatever was to be tackled in the next area.
The laughter that fell from her lips, Rachel didn't realize it came from herself. Looking around, she expected to see a random face, but there was no one. It was empty, except for him. And that smile, she couldn't let it go, not now, especially now. Looking up at him, she did it again. There was a lightheaded feeling about her, as she now realized it was her. Hand covering her mouth, she thought back to if there had been drinks.
they dont know nothing nothing about us nothing bout love or the fears that surround us
This entire place was two hundred miles long. More than six million dead bodies here. She knew all too well the history that held this place. It was one of those few stories that held her interest from the moment she heard it. Things that couldn't be unheard or learned. It simply was, while leaving the imagination to go and flow on its own. To find its own ebb and direction. Darker narrower tunnels leading through and being led by these bones. The remains of what once was. People with their own stories, people that could have been like her, him, or anyone else. Families and loves lost. Fighters and followers. Long before all of the dreams and possibilities.
When she was younger, it wasn't death that fascinated her, but life. The way that everything moved, why it did what it did, how it worked. But in order to understand life, you had to understand death. One of those few aspects of life that there could only be so much information over. The way these people lived and died, there was an outpouring of possibilities. She held no knowledge in it, even though she knew she could change that. But that didn't mean she would gain a better understanding, just that she could take a look for herself. She wouldn't without him, but not now, not yet. She didn't want to worry about what that could lead to. Instead, she was left to wonder what these people looked like at one point in their life. What caused their deaths. Were they fulfilled lives?
As she grew older, there was something beautiful about death. The end of all things. It wasn't that she longed for it, or looked to actually end people's lives. It was how perfect everything was set up. Like the foundation of a home. The bones were the first layer. They were smooth, and set up in just the way to be the framework for the body. Everything else filled in from there to make it work, movable, pliable, aesthetically pleasing, and to be able to reproduce. To live and have more. Life spawned from the smallest, tiniest of parts. And then it grew into much better aspects. Only to end up like this. Empire of the Dead. It may as well have been a city of bones.
It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and it just kept going. Yes, they weren't supposed to be here, but what was anyone going to do? With her abilities? Authorities wouldn't be alerted, but she was going to take this all for what it was. No more second guessing, no more questions for it. There was another energy about her, enough to take hold of his hand in hers. That extra bounce in her step, as she didn't want to leave his side.
Face to face with skulls and other bones, moving to reach out but in pause. Wanting to touch, but not. It wasn't to be disturbed. She wanted to leave it as perfect as it was. She wanted to reach out and make sure it was real. But it was. It was all real for her. and even as her hair fell into her face, she couldn't hide anything still.
There was no division left. Where she needed to learn to live with all of this, she also needed one thing. To figure out how to make this all work for her. Whatever this life was, she couldn't keep living with it in fear of what was to come next. What kind of cruel things would jump out at her or who would find out just what kind of demon she really was. That feeling that comes pushing up at her, burning through her in that emotion. She had to smother it, take care of it and herself. Because if she didn't, how would she take care of him? He had his own wants and needs, not all were going to be associated with her or collide. She knew and understood that, accepted that above and beyond all else. It had been the easiest to do so with.
All of this happened to him too. Not just through her, it happened to him. It started there first. She didn't want to be a burden, a source of worry or penance. She wanted him to be as happy as he wanted her to be. That was what always mattered. The level of care and contentment. That way that he was there for her. It needed to be equal, She would fight for it, if and when she had to. He was worth it.
Everything from her past, from her family that she once had, the friends or lack there of, from work and the hassles there, It all disappeared in the coldness that was the dark. There was no light, no special way to go. But he was the warmth. Not a lighthouse to go and find or follow, but that anchor, she could feel even with her eyes closed from the other side of the world. That's how it felt. That was how she was willing to believe it. And it didn't matter who understood it or why. Just that it was the way it was. And she kept smiling.