People, places, everything was different. Raven had been settling in, reading book after book, since the moment she had found her spell books. Her shelves now full, encompassing her, after finding them in her room. The only time she had popped away, was when she wanted by someone. Anyone, really. Between her time with work and having to argue the fact that her eyes were just fine. That there was some special sensitivity that the contact lenses held. One that she couldn't change, and had to get the prescription refilled and fixed. That this was the best she could do. No one should be so bothered by the color of her eyes. The change to a purple, almost indigo color. It was just an eye color.

Where her boss had understood, the director himself, it was other people she had to work with. That and one older woman that was grieving. Why was it that people just had to complain to make themselves feel better, bigger. She could feel the woman's emotions. She knew what was going on in her mind. How easy it would be to call that out in the open. It would get denied, rejected, claims of not knowing her and how dare she speak to her that way. But that didn't change the facts. She did know, but this wasn't her. This wasn't the way that Raven worked. This was Rachel moving into her and trying to push herself back through. It caused a pain there in her temple. The way it had before, but she held fast. Whatever it was about having her soul self there again, it helped. That use, that ability, that half demon side of her with her own abilities. She was stronger than she was willing to allow any sort of credit for. One way or another, she was going to make it through all of this.

A story about her eyes, it wasn't needed for Devin. He liked it. She wondered if it would go away with her. There was a difference in the women that went beyond personality and she knew. It was inescapable. More than these little differences, more than the major ones. The powers and ability to maintain them. The memories that were or weren't held here. Another life, she held ideas on it being more than that. The way everything was here, the way she couldn't move in and out of things as she pleased. There were barriers to her abilities, here and now.

The memories she held, it was like she was making the same mistakes all over again. A life that wasn't her own, no way of changing anything. Making it better, it made it worse. What was she supposed to do when everything was like this? She felt more and more as if she were losing her grip. Not on this body, but on this life and how to maintain it. On this entire world. Nothing good would ever come of that. It didn't matter what or who said what. They could talk among themselves and claim whatever they felt the need to.

There were these times where she felt as if everything simply showed on her sleeve, but she maintained it. The sharp pains in her mind. The fatigue that settled into her muscles. The anxiousness that made her feel stiff. The blank looks she could give, the ability to pretend as if she were ignoring the world. Nothing was being ignored, nothing was left to ignore. The world would blend away, colors and fractions. Words on papers, scribbles and illustrations. This was easier, or felt as though it should be. This was where she was less the lost cause. The flood of feelings that poured in rather than out, as she searched for help in the form of things she knew she shouldn't be trying. But where else was she to gain this sort of guidance?

Everything felt as though it were on a wrong path. Paths that led to something bigger than anyone was explaining. Did they even hold answers that made sense or did it help them to not feel as though they could learn anything? A need for something more, it was always there. It's how they came to be. How she was able to pull them together in another time. Enough lives, she had held to become more. Failure was not an option, whether or not there was to be a maintained sense of closeness. No one was left to trying to kill her or have her treated as much. This was a good a sign as any. But these memories were in pieces and not altogether right. She had so much to learn, so much to prepare for. What could come, what might change, where she would be.

In her past, she had tried so hard, pushed past her own wants, her own needs. Control. It was the one part of her, that one ability that may as well have been her super power. Her special ability with the way she was able to keep everything inside of her, to keep it together. Allow the world to see her as they willed, but it held a tendency to be wrong. Judgement over what she was, who she was, what abilities she held. It allowed them to not listen to her when she did need help. And when she didn't, when she was a threat, the tides turned. Sometimes, she felt no better than a tool. It wasn't because she willingly offered to help, to use her powers to help those she cared about. But because of what she was capable of and she wasn't looking to be that here. Did it all start again, from the start? Because these abilities, these memories, they weren't all right. There were pieces coming in from parts of her that didn't make sense. At the same time, it did.

This place wouldn't be her second chance at anything. It would be he first chance to make things better for different people. Her time to learn how to maintain her own needs and to help Rachel overcome the rest. Another page turned, another life lived.