Rachel was unmoved as she tried to reach out, to hear those thoughts she never wanted to capture. Her heart missed a beat when there was nothing to come back to. Every single ability she held, even the thoughts that moved with magic, the words that could be spoken, everything came up blank. Nothing was working and the rush she felt, the smile that tugged at her lips, it hurt her cheeks. The muscles holding a tenderness. It brought water to her eyes.
She would stay quiet. Unspoken knowledge, until this one minor attribute. She hadn't thought to try it first, but last. Everything else gone, simply most being tied to it, there had to be a reason or cause. Her soul pulling away from her body, the black shadowy figure of a bird, a raven, jetting from her body. Looking down upon herself, as the backlash of this came on its own. She was so close, but why this, why now?
Rachel was scared to think this through, to dig deeper, as it meant that she would have to give it up. All of this would be temporary and she would have to dig that much deeper. Use those memories she held and make something of herself become that much more of a woman she was not. A half demon spawn from a rape of a woman that would try to protect her, keep her away, after making all of the wrong decisions.
Emptiness was deep and aching within her. Now left to her own thoughts, devices, feelings. Were these real? She had experienced them before, there was no merger or meshing of others feelings with her own. Only that strong feeling, the will that came with it. She wanted to be better, do better, not only for herself but others. The issue with others was where to draw the line. They couldn't be trusted. Even now, she knew that none of them were like her. They were supposed to hold a closeness, to be some better family than she once had. A new one that wouldn't let her down. But they had, no matter how many times she went back. It left her exhausted in attempts.
If things were going to work one way, she would follow another path. Her own course to create and tame. She didn't know how to explain it or how to do so, but there would be that attempt. She did care, and that was a problem for her. The only way she was going to see it. After all this time, thinking it over back and forth, mewling it over in her mind, she still couldn't see a way to not do so. She had to care. It was part of the good in her, where she would fight the evil. That part of her that was of her father, Raven's father, lying deep, ingrained in that way others didn't think. The way she knew and could feel.
In a few hours, there would be a call about her boss. No one had confirmed a few specially placed appointments. Monday would be the real problem. Where could he have gone? He was an older man. This wasn't the way he normally ran things. People were worried, she should have been too. It was easier to hold in, to ignore it all and hope for the best. But there was those little added whispers in the air. The information that would find its way to her. She didn't like it and she didn't know what else to do. If anyone was going to find out what was going on, the least she could do was use some ability that wouldn't allow for anyone to get hurt.
This wasn't any type of teleportation, she couldn't get people in or out, but she could check. Take notice of her surroundings and hope for the best. Allow others to know what was going on and who was in there. Most importantly, if this was as real as they made claims of it to be. There was no denying this. She would go. If something were to happen to her, she would be safe, she would find her way back to her body. It would only take longer.
When she found what she was looking for, the sight made her cringe. Even without a body, or her empathy, the feelings that balled up within her. It hurt. She was no better than a ghost, watching out for anyone that could see her. Peeking her head around in areas, or looking through the unseen eyes of a soul that moved through the shadows with its own direction of pitch black.
What good was she here, watching this? No one deserved this. She only wished she could do more for once. To do more than to be some unseen onlooker here. The pain that could come from where her thoughts took her. The way bodies were crumpled on the floor, the pain and huddled masses. Her boss wasn't in this group, but it gave her what felt like confirmation that he was in another. This was real and would have been because of her.
What good was she if she couldn't protect those around her? She didn't need her job anymore. She chose to keep it, she enjoyed it. This was her getaway from all too many types of life. Was this no longer allowed to be her either? Everyone was in pain and where she couldn't even feel it, she did.